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At this stage of life I am somewhere between SEXY and DEATH! Actually closer to death. My memoir: AMERICAN FOURSQUARE, BEHIND THE FACADE. It is about my abusive coming up, my marriage to a woman, separation and divorce, coming out and my last 35 years living as a fully out gay man including a number of years in a threesome. Includes some psychological perspective and photos from this retired psychotherapist. You might find it a quick, sometimes fun and insightful read. I recently changed my screen name to better reflect my age and to poke fun at myself. No need to take life too seriously. Sapiosexual here: (I find men who use their brain and have a sense of humor very sexy). I am here mostly to chat, particularly with men who live in different cultures and cities about their gay life experience. I admire men beautiful in body and spirit and have been fortunate enough to find that in the men I have hooked up with, dated and yes, with my husband, Doug. My relationships over my adulthood have given me many gifts and formed who I am now: My ex-wife, Wendy, loved and understood me enough to let me be myself and let me go. My first male relationship of 17 years, Ross, taught me that none of us are free until we all are free and safe and so encouraged my activism. My second male relationship of 4 years with Gregory, helped to revitalize and reconnect me with my youthful energy and spirit, taught me sensuality and how to use my body, and gave me again an experience of family. My third relationship with Helmer, taught me every day to feel safe and secure in the love of another man without any demands or conditions. With Doug I am learning to accept love as well as provide it (as is he) and he has revived my passion for which I am grateful beyond words. Our relationship has moved to primary, married and living with him in Denver, CO and our new adventure together in our 1954 Mid-Century Modern home. I miss Buffalo, NY, but I love Denver. I haven't always made the "right" choices but I am, nonetheless, grateful for the lessons learned, the gifts received and the person that I have become. I posted on this site for fun, the experience of doing it, because it is both national and international, and to exchange the occasional comment. Regarding men's relationships I have learned that monogamy and commitment are vastly different constructs. Monogamy is about NOT doing something and therefore has negative energy (especially when you discover that your partner has been cheating, LOL). Commitment is about DOING; DEMONSTRATING on a daily basis that you love someone and want them in your life. It is therefore a VERY positive, constructive energy. I am all about commitment, not about monogamy. We embrace monogamy as a value but not as a rule to adhere to or to break. Thanks for all the positive comments about my profile. LIVE WELL AND CHOOSE WISELY! My Best to you, Lou |
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